Romance Guides by EdenFantasys

In the newly released film, "Junebug," Madelyn, an art gallery owner, meets George during an auction and falls in love. Later, while visiting his very southern, very middle-class family, she's asked if it was love at first sight. Smiling, she not only admits that it was, but that they were wed a week after knowing each other. Dreams and independent movies are made of this sort of overly sweet stuff, random and rare encounters that lead to grand and momentous love affairs. If you're like me and most everyone else on the planet, you put little stock in this kind of happenstance and, though you know it exists and have heard about it-your friends always seem to be meeting someone somewhere all the time-you often shrug it off as impossible or worse, impossible for you.

But then you do meet someone and you do fall in love. He meets your friends, and you meet his. Since both of you are willing, you stop dating casually and enter that exclusive deal known as a commitment. Moving in together doesn't seem as farfetched as it once did. And why not? Around him, you sprout wings and a halo. Around her, you can barely control your fingers and dick. You're in love. You've hit the jackpot, baby. Every cliche you've ever heard about being in love applies and at last you feel like the world's embraced you. You understand what everyone's been talking about and what you've been missing out on for years. You're safe and snug inside the cocoon of a healthy, strong relationship, as strong and healthy as the bed you buy together and christen repeatedly.

After a year, sometimes less, sometimes more, depending upon who you are and who you're dating, the way he clips his toenails begins to irritate you and the way she hums while brushing out her hair nauseates you. Though you still crave each other, your sex life becomes somewhat rote, tapering off from seven times a week to three, mirroring what you know to be true, though are too afraid to say aloud-you're drifting apart. Your conversations, once scintillating, turn stale and foreshortened, more functional than engaging. You worry suddenly you've made a huge mistake, that he isn't the one, that she's completely and utterly wrong in every way.

At this delicate juncture in your relationship, you might seek out couples' therapy, or try your own brand of it through plain, old-fashioned powwows. Either technique is commendable, especially in light of your connection and investment. But take caution: If your relationship has become physically and emotionally abusive, chances are it will stay that way until professional help is sought.

Because we live in such an accelerated, instantly gratifying age, where ad after ad commands us to act fast, sometimes, in our relationships, we overlook the fundamental reasons why we chose the person we did in the first place: Was it her hair? Her vocabulary? Was it his eyes? The way he said your name? We misplace and mishandle these memories, cordoning them off, usually forgetting about them until it's too late. There is always someone better out there, we think. There is always someone more suited to me.

Toward the end of the film, George says of Madelyn: "Yeah, I hope she stays around." It is a touching and surprising moment, not just because we hope this as well, but because George himself wants this more than anything and his wanting resonates long after the lights go up. This is what love is: it's about wanting someone else to stick around and the willingness to help them do just that. Yes, it's hard and it's ugly and it hurts, but whoever said that growth was easy? Whoever said that life was like a movie?

David Levinson is a young writer, who explores the mistiness of sexuality and human relationship, writing articles for EdenFantasys.com - Sex Toys Store, where you can find his other works or discover new sides of intimate feelings for yourself.